Zack “Flushie” McCullough
20′ Runner-Up
22′ League Champion
Possibly the most feel-good champion since the debut of the Oracle, Big Dog’s celebrated triumph over Danimal the Manimal wasn’t because the runner-up was a villain, simply that the good guy showdown was better than the alternatives. With a solid
keeper situation, Big Dog is looking to stay in the thick of it. While some partiers without
a better place to poop may accuse him of cheating, the narrative is that he’s a nice guy
so all is forgiven. The ol’ David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez chestnut.
Ali “Boris Durke” Dastagirazda
19′ Runner-Up
21′ League Champion
Thank goodness Boris Durke will be in attendance for the draft weekend 2023,
because there were so many tables without any trolls living under them at draft
weekend 2022. Plus, do not get us started on the dusty karaoke machine. The artist
formerly known as Babushka is coming off of what is perhaps a bit of an outlier season,
much like his roommate. However, there’s reason to believe THIS solid competitor will
regain his form, since there is a ring on his finger after all.
Alex “Pappy” Bellott
15′ Runner-Up
While we’ve been without a certain MAGA-loving douchecanoe for some time,
that doesn’t mean we’re lacking a member with the shared viewpoint of that ilk that
those WITH members in their trousers are superior. Pappy has been knocking on the
door for some time, and one of these days he’s gonna kick that door down. Whether
that’s the championship door or the Phony door remains to be seen.
John “Bummissioner” Wehler
18′ Runner-Up
21′ Runner-Up
22′ King Phony
Oh how the mighty have fallen. The bummissioner turned just bum earning the
crown of King Phony was celebrated by all. Naturally, the generally solid GM is
expected to be #back. The thing is though, where exactly is back? Last I checked, the
bummish’s keychain includes keys to the league office, but not to the Champions’
Suite. Something to think about.
Dan “King Phony” Hamm
16′ King Phony
17′ King Phony
19′ League Champion
21′ King Phony
The Kyle Shanahan 49ers of #ThisLeague. He’s either competing for a title, or
he’s competing for Phony. There is no purgatory. Only real differences between Dan
and the Niners are, he’s actually been on top of the mountain as champ, and he doesn’t
complain to anyone and everyone that it wasn’t fair that his quarterback got hurt
(ironically in this case being Jalen Hurts) or make any other excuse when things go
south. This level of maturity should be celebrated. Cums with fatherhood.
Jackson “Lackson Lurtz” Kurtz
19′ King Phony
It really is a mystery why Mongo has become so vilified. This is a man that
squashes bugs for the greater good, and has also overcome torturous circumstances
yet still lived to tell the tale. He ate an entire chip. On the other hand, he’s only eaten a chip and never won one, which does make you question some of his behavior. Suffice
to say, it’s actually better when he loses.
Chaim “CJ” Wolfson
18′ King Phony
The official FED of #ThisLeague is coming off of his best season which
resulted in a playoff collapse, with CJ resembling LJ. Funny how that works. He is
crediting doing his research in print media as opposed to digital media, and as a
traditionalist, that is just dandy. If his magazine/book/pile of papers results in another
winning season, perhaps he’ll be able to trade in his quarter-machine ring pop for one of
actual value. Then again, that would probably require nefarious means. Those who
identify as truthers tend to have the most flammable pants.
Tom “Slept Bol” Chiswick
22′ CEO and Founder of the LLC
With #ThisLeague going from Tom Riddle to Tommy Toes, the beautification
factor we’ve benefited from his joining our ranks can’t be understated. Outside of that
though, he’s been remarkably average to decent in the standings. Of course there was
his monumental meltdown of 2021, but that’s about where the fireworks end. Basically,
he’s the jersey knockoff of Bose, and that is ok! A good bud is a good bud. Bonus pints
from being roomies with Shroomies at one point.
Brandon “Shrooms” Thornton
15′ League Champion
20′ League Champion
Next we have who dat dad! The only multi-time champ to never be crowned King Phony (can’t imagine that statement backfiring), the man the government knows as Brandon Thornton but everyone else knows as anything else, is looking to rise from the Phony Bracket ashes like the phoenix he is and become the first member of #ThisLeague to be crowned champ thrice. The laws of nature are not doing their best to level the playing field, as he will be competing in 2023 with #DadBrain, but a big one nonetheless. Time will tell how much of the newly earned dad strength is distributed.
Alex “The Godfather” Strohl
16′ League Champion
17′ League Champion
20′ King Phony
22′ Hypothetical Runner-up
The other two-time champ we are luckily enough to have, StooL is kind of like
Akon. He was as consistent as they came for years, and even won back-to-back titles.
Also like Akon you probably didn’t realize how long it’s been since he’s been on top of
his game. This is primarily due to a keeper situation that started off Drizzy and currently
has him feeling Tee-Pain, the GM with the first pick in the draft is in a good situation to
turn this tugboat right around. Toot toot.
Phony Fantasy 