Thank you all for responding (except Zack). I’ve got everyone’s responses organized by the current standings.

Bellz

This is the first time I’ve been happy with my team in a long time. Because of our dumbass, fully diagnosed disney adult horses, by the time CJ and I got to draft we were choosing from 2nd round players. With that in mind I am happy how my draft went (Draft better bums!) and my current standings.
1.05: GIbbs – Mr gibbiessss! He’s nice
2.06: King Henry – Lmaoooo I can’t believe you guys let him fall to me. Thanks CJ!
3.05: Big Mike Evans – Again, mr consistent. I cant believe you let him drop this far to me in the 3rd
4.06: Walker – Solid pick here. Better than Rachaad White who went sooner but I also can’t believe I passed on Kamara
5.05: mr vaLue – keeper. yall already know
6.06: Terry Scary – this was such a risky pick. I’m ctfu that its worked so far
7.05: Kincaid – TEs suck in 2024. At least I didnt draft one until 7th round
8.06: Javonte – BUM
9.05: Jamooo – Boom or bust but I love watching him play
10.06: Christian Watson – Biggest bum on the Lpack. Who wants him??
11.05: Rico – I’m hoping for a late season break out here. Stop trying to trade for him bums
12.06: Jayden Daniels King of the East – LMAO yall really let me get him in the 12th round???? L to all of you
13.05: Love – Yeah sure I’ll take Jordan Love as my backup QB in the 13th round
14.06: Josh Downs – My sleeper pick of the year
15.05: Freiermuth – a top TE I guess???
16.06: Fairbairn – Kicker 1

Oh and I’m still running these guys out there. Because I’m nice at drafting and don’t need to trade bum for bum.

Bose Rankings:
1) Dan (when healthy)
2) Me
3) John
4) aLi
5) Zack
6) CJ
7) Strohl
8) Shrooms
9) Tom
10) Jack

John

This is easy. Have you looked at my team? My consuLtant hooked me up for an easy yellow brick road stroll (not strohl) to the fantasy chip.

I made ONE bad pick, and in hindsight, I’m sicccccckkk because i knewww mr autism would be the Achilles heel of my team, and thankfully, he’s riding his ass on the waiver wire. Bum.

My extremely humongous brain 

 is running at 150%.  Snakes on a plane; Saquon & jettas are flying high and everyone else is the supporting cast.

And let’s not forget the fact that trading diontae johnson for the qb that i was going to pick in the third round is magical. AND i still have Travis Kelce? Yikes

Best team is mine, of course.. but props to bellott for also being up here with me. The world is aligned because strohl is at the bottom.  I’m also putting Tom at the top as well because he buried strohl.

Good luck everyone!!!!!!

Zack

My team blows and I can’t wait to be phony again

CJ

My team sucks, no debating that. I have one good player, and he is keeping my team alive. Just as he is keeping his NFL team alive. We all know who that is! My 3-2 record speaks for itself. I am getting somewhat lucky, I do not have the best team, but my team is putting up numbers when they need to at the current time. I think I will lose many more matchups, but I will be in the thick of it. A better place than I thought originally. John has the best team and playing him week 1 hurt morale. Seeing his team now, I am ok. Not going to play John every week. I am in the middle of the pack.

A couple things of note. I traded a few players. The one of note was JK Dobbins and Jennings for Adams. Pretty happy about that trade, and still am. If Adams still plays, I am ready for the stretch run. I traded Pitts for Worthy, a great trade would do it again. I then swapped worthy for roschon to the same guy. I need a bench RB vs a gadget player. With all my trades, I am content for now.

I was dealt a bad hand (with bose) because of a dumb horse. We both tried to make the most of it. Here is my pick by pick analysis:

Kyren- Even though John said don’t pick him I did. He has turned it around after a one week dud, and looks like a first round pick. Go figure!

My keeper ETN- He is terrible, I wished I kept Henry no doubt about it. This may end my season, and I have no excuse. Big Brain’d this selection. He stinks. At least I have a tank now.

Deebo- Deebo up and down every week. I think I don’t hate my selection here, and I think he will turn it on. He’s been fine for me.

Lamar Jackson- The GOAT, an amazing pick by me. My best pick. He is wheeling and dealing like a true RB does. 

Michael Pittman – My second worst pick. I rolled the dice on this thinking Richardson would be good. He isn’t, he actually is a RB that cannot throw. So all the colts WR’s with him are going to blow. They sure do. I can only hope for a Flacco.

Tee Higgins- Tee did his thing, and got injured before the season. He will get injured again, but for now he is cooking. I think I would probably roll the dice again with him if the draft was today.

Christian Kirk – An awful start that cost me two matches (with pittman), he is turning it on lately. The Jags stink, they are awful. Hopefully, they turn it on soon.

Mosthurt- He is a bench RB that may see the light of day. Now with Achane hurt, he might be a tad better. I don’t know, but odds are I don’t start him unless I have to. That was the plan anyway.

Corum- What a terrible pick by me, but I had no idea. The guy plays special teams! Well I took the handcuff I thought before Tom snatched him. Do I regret it…, maybe? I don’t know, he is gone now anyway.

Pitts- Traded the bum because someone would take him. Rolled the dice on him, and the dice fell off the craps table. He is awful, he is not returning and will go down as one of the worst top 5 NFL draft picks. I got Fergy now so we good!

JK. Dobbins- JK was my best value pick. I swapped him and Jennings for Adams. On paper that looks great, but Adams decided to say WE NOT PLAYING. Dobbins has looked amazing, and that is good. I love my pick, and stand by it. This is another one where John told me Gus was going to get all the carries. Good thing I didn’t listen, again!

Zeke- Bum, bad pick. Already off the squad. He can eat his cereal on the waiver wire.

Brock Purdy- Dropped him already, late round backup qb. Didn’t need him, and he is gone. Is what it is!

Schultz- Already dropped because I have Fergy. Schultz looks like a bad pick where I picked him. He has done nothing, oh well it really does not matter because I now have Fergy. All thanks to Strohl.

Mitchell- IR stash, which he is still there. Looking forward to his return as he will eat into Henry snaps. Got to love that.

Sanders- Oh boy this dude fucking sucks. I should have selected any other K. Should kick the chair from under him, blows!

Ali

a) Overall I still feel good about my draft, and wouldn’t change who I drafted, except for Breece. I really wanted to go with Kyren, but couldn’t pull the trigger on two Ram’s players and I was sold on PUKA!! Josh Allen may have been a reach now, but there is only maybe one other player I would take in that spot and that is Mike Evans. Also Nick Chubb might be ass this year since the Browns are CHEEKS (cmon Zack), so that pick may be useless. But overall I’m still happy with my draft! I don’t remember drafting Likely and everytime I bench him, he goes off, so I guess he will stay on my bench. Love my pick up of MOONEY, I think he can be a solid WR2.

b) My team is in the middle of the pack right now, with a tough loss week one, and a brutal showing week 4. Other than that I am happy with how my team has performed. I can’t say I have the best team, but if Josh Allen starts playing well again, I can compete for a championship. A lot of parity in #ThisLeague. Not sure if one team is better than the rest on paper, but Bellott’s is looking good right now, and so is Dan’s. Even with a few tough losses for Dan and no CMC. For a second Jack’s team was looking good, but with underperforming players and injuries, he may have the worst team. Strohl has been unlucky but his team isn’t the best either, so it’s a recipe for disaster. Bums are still trading for bums, so that’s not gonna help some of these bums getting out of the LPit.

Overall 

Tier 1 – Bellott and Dan

Tier 2 – John, Ali, Zack, and CJ

Tier 3 – Tom and maybe Shrooms

Tier BUM – Jack and Strohl

Tom

1) Reflections: 

Overall, my team is the best in the league and I will be going back to Rome to draft you all under the table every year. Sure, drafting Mark Andrews the pick before Malik Nabers can be viewed as dumb, but it doesn’t even matter because my team is nice. The CeeDee fleece from Strohl is an all-time dingus move on his part. Drake London was a dark-horse second round pick but him and swag-surfing white boy Kirk are niiiiiiiice. James Cook’d is wiping his dick all over the RB competition this year so yet another great draft pick by me. You might be asking, “oh Tom why did you draft Rachaad White in the 4th round?” because I had my reasons yoooo and I’m not telling. Tank Dell is about to pop off since Dan’s team is a walking blue tent so I’m good with that pick. Ladd will win me the chip this year when he gets going so I’m not worried. Oh, I almost forgot…Jordan Mason is NICE and Dan should’ve picked him up once CMC didn’t feel like playing football anymore. Dak is nice a scoop for being that late and so is TE 1 TJ Hockenson. You guys see the trend here? MY TEAM IS LOADED! Rashiid Shaheed in the 14th round was like taking candy from all you Lbabies. 

Hey Strohl, you got fleeced and you’re 0-5. Some people would call that SHOOK! 

2) current rankings:

BeLLott, Tom, CJ, John, Zack, Ali, Jack, Dan, Shrooms and waaaaaaaaay down is Strohl. Strohl, god damn. I’ll just leave it at that. 

Include these comments on the rankings:

beLLott: matter of time before his team collapses but we will see. 

Tom: my team is just getting started. I’m a lock for the playoffs and will make a deep run. Sorry Strohl. 

CJ: his team looks like poo on paper but is actually good. Maybe he’ll stop making bone-headed trades so he can make the playoffs. 

John: his team is good if they stay healthy BUT they won’t. Johnny is in trouble. 

Zack: I looked up “mid” in the urban dictionary and Zack’s team popped up. 

Ali: very average so far. His subpar draft is hurting him right now, but it might be due to the championship hangover. Time will tell. 

Jack: his team is sinking faster than the titanic. To the Lpit you go bud. 

Dan: I actually feel bad for Dan because his team (on paper) is nice but they get hurt when tripping over a blade of grass. He has a championship caliber team if they were healthy but he’ll be in the Lpit if not. 

Shrooms: yikes, this team is very stinky. You just traded your qb for a fringe flex 2. Draft was bad but recent moves were even worse. The Lpit is your new home bud. 

Strohl: oh Strohl, where do we begin. Your kind, naive nature (that I love) destroyed your season before we even drafted. Most would say I fleeced you out of the 2024 fantasy season, but I won’t say that. I took advantage of your trust and I apologize for that. My sweet Strohl, maybe next year. NEXT! 

Jack

a) Draft Pick by Pick

– Bijan over Saquon will be the death of me (& our favorite baLdy once Saquon gets hurt). Cousins stinks & hates black RBs because that’s what they teach at his Mormon church. The achilles gods will get their justice soon enough. Once non-racist Michael Penis is under center, Bijan to the MOOOOOOON.

– I’m still OK with MHJ. No panic yet. He gets the redzone targets too. Can only go up from here.

– Mahomes hates his own players. WORST pick of my draft by a landslide. Could’ve had RB1 LLamar but nooooooo had to take America’s favorite QB. Trash.

– 2 Lshrooms 1 Kupp is fantastic. Just needs a few extra ice baths every week to stay out of the blue tent.

– OK with Flowers as of now but with Henry & LLamar taking over the team, Flowers outlook is not promising (for sale for cheap).

– Rashee fried Rice was my best pick until Mahomes decided Kelce wasn’t getting enough attention. He made the business decision & now Kelce is famous again. Now Bravo can have Mahomes & Kelce on their show. I won’t be watching.

– Najee stinks. SteeLers stink. Fuck u @Zack McCullough run your god damn 5K already. Bum.

– Engram hasn’t played since week 1. He’s slated to come back this week. My hopes are as high as Dan after a gib on draft weekend.

– JayLen Warren is droppable. Come & get him! Please…

– Spears is one Bum PoLLard injury away from RB1 status, if he wasn’t on the ass clown Titans. Office is open to anyone bu strohL.

– Josh aLLen stinks & so does Keon. I’ll hold out of curiosity to see if anything does come of it, but my expectations are low.

– Already dropped Mr. 200%

– Tua’s brain is scrambled eggs. Dropped.

– Dropped Polk. LPats are terrible. Next!

– Dropped Meyers. Raiders stink. Next!

– TE1 Aubrey best kicker in the league. Best 16th round pick of all time. Fight me @Zack McCullough

b) Since Kupp & Rice have been out, it’s no question my team is now a ticking time bomb waiting to either explode to the moon or implode straight into the Lpit. It could always be worse- at least I still have a chance unLike our good rock buddy strohL. How sad he has become! 

My very non-biased rankings:

1 – Nobody
2-7 (in no order) – BeLLs, aLi, BaLdy, Me, Dan, Zack
8 – CousinJ
9 – Dork
10 – Lshrooms
N/A – strohL

Dan

Alright here we go. My draft was really good. I genuinely feel like my first ~11 picks were so spot on and after that it’s a shot in the dark anyways. Looking at the guys taken after my pick, BUMS. Don’t regret any of the picks right now. BUT (here comes my POUT) the injury bug has absolutely fucked me. It would be interesting to see what would have happened in the draft if CMC was actually honest about his injury. I honestly didn’t have a backup keeper plan so who knows what I would have done. Looking at my squad, I’m just PRAYING for some good fortunate with injuries. I’m counting so hard on all of these guys getting healthy by the end of the season for a playoff run:

– CMC

– Nabers

– Collins

– Achane

– Rhamondre (kinda a bum but still kinda need him)

Hell even my kicker sprained his ankle making a tackle last week on special teams. Imma come clean, I almost made a couple different trades this week that could have been seen as panicking, but I’m trying to hold steady and trust the process.

As for the rest of the league, Bellott has the best team and the championship is his to lose. Our team have gone in different directions since my crushing defeat. I’m also ready to pencil John in for a deep playoff run that ends on week 16, as is tradition. My dark horse contender is Zack, who struggled in the beginning of the season but is similar to me and just needs to get healthy. 

Respectfully, I will not speak on the bottom of the league as I have intrusive thoughts that the five guys I mentioned above are toast for the season and I will be losing the phony bracket. 

– Daddy Dan

Shrooms

Upon reflection on my team midway through the fantasy season, it’s really kinda crazy how my team looks compared to my draft. Of my 16 selections, seven of them remain. Due to wearing like actual rose-colored glasses, my rose-colored draft ended with two Raiders and three Eagles, and only Dallas Goedert remained. Naturally I couldn’t help myself and grabbed the Raiders tight end down the road. With that being the case, going pick by pick is bit of a difficult task. I also credit White Claw. I think that was the seltzer I’m starting to doubt that weekend even happened. 

Anyhoo, what I can do though, is tell you that my draft picks of Aaron Jones, Davante Adams, Jalen Hurts, and Jaylen Waddle became Brock Bowers, Austin Ekeler, J.K. Dobbins, Jajuan Jennings (ew?), Diontae Johnson, Jaxon Smith-Niigba, and Xavier Worthy. You can do with that what you will because honestly, seeing it in writing I don’t even know what to make of it and I’m kinda terrified to dwell on it. 

While I didn’t go pick-by-pick, something | will emphasize is that Jaylen Waddle literally one pick before Nico Collins, followed by Amari Pooper one pick before Zay Flowers next round looks like a tough one as of now. There was also Jerome Ford right before Brian Thomas too. Ya know, for good measure. 

As far as who has the best team, other than John of course, I gotta give it to my Blair Walsh brother Bose. Hostus Mostus has earned this spot on the Midseason Mantle and I for one couldn’t be happier for him. Idk who can say the same. As for me, it looks like I may have a spot locked up in the Phony Baloney Pit. For now, of course. Lotta things look like they may be happening…

Strohl

A.

1. AJ Brown – if the question is do I regret not keeping Tyreek, at this point it’s no. Am I happy I picked AJ Brown? Also no. Hoping Batman’s hammys get right.  

2. Chris Olave – you won’t catch me drafting this cat again. Put him on the Tee Higgins list.

3. Brandon Aiyuk – Wow I royally fucked up rounds 2 and 3. I could have had Josh Jacobs and Mike Evans, each were picked one spot after my picks. Big brain moves. 

4. Jonathan Taylor – I still think it was the right decision to keep him here. If i had picked Josh Jacobs and Mike Evans, my team is probably pretty nice right now. 

5. Trey McBride – underwhelming so far but I’m still optimistic here. TEs suck in general. 

6. Kyler Murray – cautiously optimistic that the Cardinals become the NFC Bengals, bad defense, (hopefully) good offense, and every game becomes a shootout. 

7. George Pickens – I still love this pick but Justin fields blows. 

8. Xavier Worthy – This is where it goes downhill. My enthusiasm lasted for one week.  I knew he was gonna be boom or bust but let people talk me in to not trading him immediately. 

9. Devin Singletary – This was my Hero RB target (along with guys like Brian Robinson and James Conner…hindsight is 50/50). He has been …fine for where I drafted him I suppose. If Tracy takes over, I will be very mad since I had Tracy on my Dynasty roster. 

10. Jaxon Smith-Njigba – Fuck this dude, seriously.  Glad I traded him to Shrooms. He on my Gabe Davis list. 

11. Chase Brown – actually a good late round pick it seems right now. Below is my combine sleepers list from 2023 of guys I liked. 

Not sure Charbonnet really counts as a sleeper, but this is still nice. Maybe I could scout RBs for a bum team like the Patriots or Giants. 

12. Trey Benson – hasn’t sniffed the field….yet.

13. Jaylen Wright – the only dolphins running back who isn’t injury prone. Hoping he can take over the Mostert role by EOS. 

14. Jake Ferguson – not sure why he dropped in the draft. This was a great pick but I unfortunately had to drop him because of AJ Brown getting injured and being doubtful in advance only MNF. Glad CJ gifted me a backup in Kyle Pitts for free.

15. Ty Chandler – Another handcuff to an injury prone RB. This could be a good pick in a week or two. 

Kicker: fuck all kickers and fuck you all for keeping them in this stupid game. Disgrace to the sport that these skinny fucks have the power to decide games. 

B. 

StooLs power rankings-

1. Bellott – def not going .500
2. Ali – WRs for daysssss
3. John
4. Zack
5. Dan
6. Tom
7. CJ
8. StooL – sniff
9. Jack – sniff sniff
10. Shrooms – peeeyew

Yes, I feel like currently have a better team than Shrooms and Jack and the PF reflect that. Good news is: After the Waddle trade, I have 5 of my pre-season top 25 wide receivers. Doesn’t matter much what my preseason ranks were at this stage. Yes I suck, and will likely be phony, but it’s life.