Deputy Commish anaLysis

Shrooms – After week 1 of the phony pLayoffs, Shrooms is in a comfy position to be hypothetical champion, and not Phony. He would need to lose both of the next 2 games, AND be overcome in the season-long PF tie-breaker, which is unlikely because as we know, Shrooms’ team scored a lot of points.

Bellott – Coming off the highest weekly score in the league, Bellott is probably feeling, pretty high. #Gibbs. His team going off also gave him the current lead over Zack in the PF tiebreaker. His scenario to be Phony would be losing to Shrooms this week, losing to Jackson next week (dropping him to 1-2), and losing the PF tie-breaker.

Zack – We see it, we know it, Zack’s team is struggling, made even worse with the injury to Jamar Chase. We’re all rooting for you buddy. Loser of the Ack matchup will be the favorite to be Phony.

Jackson – Side note to Imma come clean, Jackson’s team is too good to be this bad. Should have traded his underperforming running backs when he had the chance. Instead of the one who’s averaged 20 points a game since the trade.

More scenarios to come next week, as we’ll have a 2-0 team, two teams at 1-1, and an 0-2 team. There’s the potential to have a three-way tie after next week of 1-2 teams, which would enforce the tiebreaker. This is so fun, glad we set it up this way! @AliDasta.

Season-Long PF Tiebreaker After 15 Weeks:

Shrooms – 1749.64

(To twist the knife)
Strohl – 1724.86
Ali – 1718.34
























Jackson – 1650.84


Bellott – 1500.98
Zack – 1483.70

Scoreboard

Big Brain Bose WeekLy Recap

Lost in the MF Sauce

imma come clean

A lot of people demanded that this column come back because I supposedly had done a lot of talking before the Newsletter did its annual mid-season swan dive. Well, being that it primarily centered on Micah Parsons and the overhype that comes with a Dallas Cowboys winning record we’ll start there.

Well, the Cowboys got pretty much as punked as you can get on a football field the way the Bills ran all over them (some would even say circled the wagons), winning in dominant fashion despite Josh Allen only throwing for 94 yards. You read that right. That’s how far down the throats of that defense the Bills ran the ball. Naturally, Micah Parsons never really got off the bus, but that’s what happens when you’re a fringe top-five defender in the NFL that starts to believe your own hype that comes with the star on your helmet.

I did mention Josh Allen, and I guess that means we should switch gears to my fantasy team.

Three teams scored over 1600. The top three totals were 1637, 1636 and 1634. Those totals were for the two, one and seven seeds respectively. The fact that my team scored under 100 and the other two went bananas the final week and the totals are still that close just goes to show that PF really doesn’t matter nearly as much as PA. The Oracle was mocked and laughed at for making that point but like… what more do you want?

As for the trade, we all wanna talk about it. So let’s dive in.

It’s honestly crazy how someone could gift one of their good buds in #ThisLeague some of their better players, thus helping them make a potential run in the playoffs while they are essentially one game away from donning the clown shoes as a result.

Seriously though Jackson, thank you for making that trade with John and pretty much fucking yourself. It helped me send you to the shadow realm from whence you came as Qoga Booga like Pennywise in the sewers of middle America. Plus, after all the flim flam you talked, that is a p dece consolation prize, as the Curse of the Website™ rages on. Don’t worry, I’ll head to the Booga & Tall Store to make sure they have clown outfits in your size just in case. No need to waste any early running energy.

Editor Note:
In 6 weeks (weeks 10-15), Kittle, Sutton, and James Cook have combined to score 244.6 points since the infamous trade, which also includes a bye week for Cook, who’s averaging almost 20 points a game. Meanwhile, Evans and Javonte have combined for 160.8 points since the trade. I didn’t include Terry in the equation, because he averaged less than 5 points a game over 4 weeks before Jackson dropped him. Hmph.

Brandon “Shrooms” “Hypothetical 2023 Champion” Thornton

Upcoming Schedule

Dr. StooL’s Week 15-ish Phony Odds Diagnosis

Editor Note: These were provided prior to the start of playoffs and definitely have changed. Also the last time we posted these odds (week 8), Dan was Strohl’s second favorite to be phony. Hmph.

Dr. StooL’s Pre-Playoff Phony Odds Diagnosis:

-110 – Clown Z – I made a declaration last week that the favorite for phony would be the loser of the Shrooms/Tom matchup. Well like any good doctor, the day has arrived and I’m changing my plans based on the #science. Zack lost Herbert and I think he is Donezo. It will be interesting to see which QB he trusts to attempt to dig out from the depths. Hopefully he has been preparing for the phony bracket for two weeks (like any experienced phony bracketeer like myself would recommend) instead of putting on his clown makeup. 

+200 – Father of the Year – Shrooms may have lost his matchup with Tom, but he has won so, so much more. That is – he has had the opportunity to spend as much time as he wanted with his newborn son. While Dan and I (and maybe Jack) have been delinquent in tending to our children over the last few months (or years) because we were busy focusing on football, Shrooms clearly was not. — Wait, sorry, I’m receiving word that Shrooms did in fact score more points than everyone else in the league bar the two teams with byes this week. It’s destiny then. If Shrooms loses this week, his players have very tough matchups for the next two and he could easily be running the ClownK. 

+250 – Bellott – There are two types of pain: the acute, stabbing kind that happens occasionally (like when you have to run a 5k in clown shoes) and the dull, chronic kind that is a nuisance to your everyday life (like the weeks and months after you have to run a 5k in clown shoes). Bellott’s phony odds have officially been diagnosed as the dull, chronic kind. Thats not to say he hasn’t been the phony favorite at times, but he has (un)comfortably settled in at this spot for the long haul. 

Dr. StooL, M.D., P.G., CSW

CJ’s Radio Show

Addy Lines with Ooga Booga

Ooga is still waiting for the lines from week 8-15 to be posted.