Phony Tracker

Biggest Phony of the Week

beLLz

Yeah no surprise here. We all know that I have by far the worst team in the League…. and that is OK!
Oh no! Not the hot chip!
Anyway, since my team is so bad, and for the sake of my own mental health and this newsletter, I am not going to be putting myself here every week. In fact, just assume I am Phony of the week every week. You will however guarantee yourself a 1 way ticket to this spot if you happen to lose to me this year.
Just like the Patriots, we both got our 1 win so no naked lap!!

Honorable Mention

LphonyJ

John looks like he missed the phony bracket so much he is trying his best to keep his seat in the Lpit. His team is entirely reliant on eagLes players (big surprise) and he is low in PF and PA. The good news is he is better than beLLz, Ldan, and Ltom so he has an opportunity to banish another bum to the phony reaLm instead.

Lost in the MF Sauce

Players to Watch

imma come clean

So I have no idea when this will be available for your viewing pleasure, so I had to write a lil sum sum real quick that I was most sure that would stay relevant by the time your wandering eyes got to this section of the Newsletter.

The Dallas Cowboys are Charmin soft. They are that Parsons, sorry, PERSON on the playground/locker room that would bully and/or hazed those that were weaker. Then, once a team/COVID came around that could fight back, they opted out of the season, or would just get pounded into submission. That’s just what happened when the 49ers played the Cowboys, which now feels like an eternity ago, but their defense was exposed, as were the best players on it, and don’t even get me going on Dak and the offense. I know it was forever since that game was played, but when it comes to the Newsletter, it’s life.

As far as fantasy goes, I really felt emotional after playing my one of my goodest bud buds in Chizzy. So, this weeks real wrasslin video does a good job of reflecting that. In my humble and objective feeling of course.

-Brandon “Shrooms” Thornton

Scoreboard

Dr. StooL’s Week 5 Phony Odds Diagnosis

+165 – Bose – Slowly trending toward even money… Anyone have any thoughts on a phony jersey for Alexander? I’m thinking it may have to be a Garrett Wilson Jets jersey for our resident Patriots fan! The other options would be the real men who ruined Bose’s season (although not on his team, but definitely more embarrassing) Zach Wilson or Aaron Rodgers. Last, but not least, maybe Stefon Diggs? Discuss amongst yourselves.

+375 – Ltom – I’m starting to feel bad for Tom. Not because his team is bad, that’s his own fault. I feel bad because it is obvious that he still does not recognize that his team is bad! Let this be your InterventionJ. Your team is bad and you need help. Let some of your friends help you! Maybe we can trade just to trade, i.e. Daboll and Daniel Jones for Belichick and a 3rd.

+550 – Dr. Spots – Hello darkness my old friend Welcome back to the basement slim! While John is (barely) outside the bottom 3 in the real standings, he remains there in our hearts. A matchup with the magic man Ali does not bode well for his team scoring more than 100 points. This is going to be a long, slow burn to the bottom for John, which is why I haven’t picked up my crock pot yet. By this time next week, it may officially be TradeMasterJSzn.

Dr. Stool M.D., P.G.

CJ’s Radio Show

Addy Lines with Ooga Booga
Week 6

Addy Lines with Ooga Booga

Week 6 Edition

Jack ran out of addy this week and couldn’t stay awake long enough to write his section this week, even with 2 extra days. Hopefully his plug can hook him up in time for next week.