Phony Tracker

Biggest Phony of the Week

Ltom

Well well well who do we have here but our good bud Ltom. Half of Bose’s team didn’t catch a pass this week and Tom still managed to lock down the lowest score of the week. Through 4 weeks, Tom has yet to exceed his weekly projected score. Will he ever??? Stay tuned…

Honorable Mention

beLLz

Yeah no surprise here. See above. Half my team started their bye a week early. I’m pretty much a lock for phony bracket this year but that doesn’t mean I can’t spoil things for you other bums.

Lost in the MF Sauce

Players to Watch

imma come clean

Alright gentlemen. We’ve made it. The real season is here. Why? Well, because bye weeks are upon us, and it’s time to see what everyone is truly made of when it comes to their #GMing.

The injury bug also plays a big part, but I don’t need to tell anyone that, since it’s already taken several chomps.

Despite this, many have already begun chirping about their teams. Good or bad. Naturally, many have already proclaimed to have the best team (as of course is tradition) while Oracles prefer the lasagna approach. You know, speak softly and carry a big stick. That old chestnut.

However, that doesn’t mean victory laps aren’t in order.

Stefon Diggs has already been touched on. Injury or not, a top five WR in both fantasy and reality as a second round keeper was highway robbery. A value chart doesn’t need to tell you that so no need to overthink it. As an aside, many in #ThisLeague can attest that the Oracle was shopping Wilson in the offseason. Because Jets.

Then there’s another lap to trot. And it involves Mr. Jack Attack.

We all know that Ooga decided to Booga after beating me in a meaningless regular season game way back in 2020, and created his own website to celebrate. Since that happened? Well, thank you for asking. He went on to lose to me in the playoffs only for me to win the whole shebangabang that year. That’s not all! In the years that followed, Davante Adams demanded out of Green Bay to join his favorite team, then Aaron Rodgers left as well after more playoff collapses. Elsewhere, Coach K retired, Barcelona is at war with the government, and the Yankees fell off a cliff.

Of course some say Neanderthals are notoriously slow learners, so after being insufferable for no reason after the World Series and Super Bowl, the biggest beatdown in the history of #ThisLeague was in order. So before the real season starts, one more victory lap before we’re all business.

-Brandon “Shrooms” Thornton

Scoreboard

Dr. StooL’s Week 4 Phony Odds Diagnosis

+200 – Bose – Let’s get a picture of that British bitch in here because Bellz, you are the weakest link, and a (not so) good bye. Ken Walker is out and this presents a chance for Dan to add a tiebreaker advantage in a head to head. I don’t see any way out of the phony L pit of misery bracket if you go 1-4, so it may be time for Bose to start planning for weeks 15-17. The earlier you admit you have a problem the easier it is to correct it! Trust me, I’m a doctor.

+415 – Ltom – Speaking of admitting to problems, I think Tom is having a hard time admitting to his draft mistakes. Darren Waller has been terrible, it’s early but Quentin Johnson looks like another TCU WR bust, and Kareem Hunt may just not be any good. In fact, Mr. computer meme man, can we get a mean girls meme going with Rachel McAdams telling Tommy “Stop trying to make (insert bum here) happen, it isn’t going to happen.”

+600 – Ooga Booga – My problem with Jack’s team is this: Who the fuck can you count on to score 15+ points outside of Ekeler? Not Barkley (for now), James Cook, Aaron Jones, or the WRs. Mostert really carried Jack in the first few weeks but I think Achane is taking enough of the carries to fuck that up. If only someone could have foreseen this team being bad! Jack’s team is spiraling toward the phony bracket like his sunglasses spiraled when CJ peed on them the flushed it.

Dr. Stool M.D., P.G.

CJ’s Radio Show

Addy Lines with Ooga Booga
Week 4

Addy Lines with Ooga Booga

Week 4 Edition

WOW A LOTTA HATERS in #ThisLeague that wanna see me fail! It’s fine… I’m used to it u bigL Loser bums (especiaLLY StooL). Since BeLLs wants this in his hands Thursday mornings now when he knows I can’t finish until late Friday, this is what you get. Recapping last week: Achane lived up to the hype & over-exceeded my high expectations, hitting both lines & putting money in my pocket. Jefferson hit on his touchdowns but Kirk bum still can’t figure out how to get him the ball the necessary amount of times to win games. LOVE seeing Minnesota at the bottom of the division, so no more Jefferson bets. & lastly, Swift got his touchdown, but the sheagLes decided on a different pass-heavy game script. 4/6 I’ll take it.

HOOVER HOLE

De’Von Achane TD (-125) & 50+ Rush Yards (-114) vs NYG
Parlay: +163

For a third straight week, I’m riding the Achane Train! I am dialing it back a bit with the anticipation the Dolphins want to keep Mosthurt feeling relevant. Consider this a bankroll builder, but with them playing the Lmen, feel free to double down on it too. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ran for another 100 with 2 TDs for a third straight week.

Nico Collins TD (+200) & 100 Rec Yards (+390) vs. JAX (London Game)
Parlay: +653
I’m throwing Nico Collins on here this week not only because I have him starting & I wanna see some production, but also because I firmly believe he IS the guy in Texas with CJ Stroud. One down week of Tank Dell getting the ball & it was back to regularly scheduled programming last week (7/168/2). This should be a guarantee week in & week out with the way Stroud has been slinging the pigskin. Tail these lines with confidence.

Alvin Kamara TD (+125), o3.5 Receptions (-172), & 50+ Rec Yards (+320)

Parlay: +645 @ NE

Personally, I think it’s borderline asinine that these lines are as low as they are after Derek Loser Bum showed last week he’s unable to throw the ball further than 5 yards. I mean come on… Kamara had 13 receptions for 33 yards!!!! Yes, you read that correctly. New record for most receptions with the least amount of receiving yards (previous was 70 yards). It’s obvious Carr 1. Isn’t a QB & 2. Doesn’t have the shoulder strength back yet. Expect another heavy dose of Kamara in the pass against the Lpats this weekend & absolutely hammer these lines!

Parlay Everything: +14716 ($10 wins $1,471.66)…DO IT!!

Bonus Picks:

NFL Weekly Specials – Highest Scoring Team – Sunday Only

Miami Dolphins (+650) vs NYG

NFL Weekly Specials – Lowest Scoring Team – Sunday OnlyNew York Lmen (+950) @ MIA